i jhust puked up my retainher.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
