i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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