Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
