i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
