i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
