you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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