Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
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Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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