i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize