Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
