i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
