are you still at the devil's house?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Less talking, more tequila
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
