I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
