i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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