Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize