Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
