don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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