well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
