my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up under a house in Key West
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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