im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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