Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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