The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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