We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
