Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
