ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
