I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
