Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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