I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
