i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
