Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
