is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
