Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
