Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
