So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
