Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
