you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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