you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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