His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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