After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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