I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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