I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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