i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
should my penis look like a turkey
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
