I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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