so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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