We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize
