All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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