508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
