Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
