It's Friday. Sex?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
