Sorry, I don't speak sober.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
