On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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