super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
