I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
