ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
