i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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