the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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