Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!

(734): View more from Michigan

I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.

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(757): Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet! (734): I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet. http://tfl.nu/0xwp

Replies (10) Good night (2139) Bad night (676)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

its not stalking. its research.

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(610): its not stalking. its research. http://tfl.nu/qywi

Replies (21) Good night (3472) Bad night (810)
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(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

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(260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb

Replies (99) Good night (986) Bad night (16048)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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(734): Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum http://tfl.nu/virf

Replies (4) Good night (1881) Bad night (919)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Hopefully she would park on my face.

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(919): I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there. (1-919): Hopefully she would park on my face. http://tfl.nu/4722

Replies (21) Good night (6359) Bad night (1033)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

You did this to yourself.

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(989): I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation. (1-989): You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/o89r

Replies (11) Good night (1653) Bad night (710)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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(250): not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home http://tfl.nu/i7w6

Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (404)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.

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(706): I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose. http://tfl.nu/d385

Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (775)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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(617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d

Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (359)
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(831): View more from California

My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire

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(831): My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire http://tfl.nu/9w77

Replies (6) Good night (897) Bad night (350)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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(+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas

Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (350)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.

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(503): Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick. http://tfl.nu/mpmj

Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (409)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.

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(251): Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling. http://tfl.nu/lulr

Replies (4) Good night (358) Bad night (833)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes

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(413): There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes http://tfl.nu/j3ol

Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (242)
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(469): View more from Texas

Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

(214): View more from Texas

That's our motto every night.

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(469): Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT. (214): That's our motto every night. http://tfl.nu/q8qi

Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (302)

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