Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person

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  (248): I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person http://tfl.nu/uj7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3631) Bad night (694)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

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  (740): becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard. http://tfl.nu/avz2
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (2593)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it

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  (573): Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it http://tfl.nu/okq1
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (2981)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..

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  (704): CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME.. http://tfl.nu/vguq
  Replies (4) Good night (3414) Bad night (850)
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  (925): View more from California

  Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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  (925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa
  Replies (14) Good night (3948) Bad night (871)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.

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  (270): True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor. http://tfl.nu/bso0
  Replies (11) Good night (1996) Bad night (1029)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.

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  (814): This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/kq64
  Replies (11) Good night (581) Bad night (1004)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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  (336): He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time. http://tfl.nu/dr9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (455)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.

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  (605): Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it. http://tfl.nu/7cyq
  Replies (7) Good night (1198) Bad night (500)
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  (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

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  (805): We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?" http://tfl.nu/3rqz
  Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1471) Bad night (365)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits

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  (778): can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits http://tfl.nu/njr0
  Replies (4) Good night (320) Bad night (917)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.

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  (778): All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed. http://tfl.nu/ap4f
  Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (257)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha

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  (970): Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha http://tfl.nu/c31t
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.

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  (616): I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside. http://tfl.nu/l42r
  Replies (2) Good night (181) Bad night (528)

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