her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
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I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
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Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob