drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
