I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
